What is love? The word is used so casually these days, from how much we love our family, to our love for our favorite ice cream, but when we truly think about what love is, it can be quite hard to put into words. Is it a feeling? Is it tied to some emotion or attraction? And if that is all it is, than what happens when those feelings change…or when the attraction fades?
What about love between immediate family members and relatives? We all know many people (even ourselves) who have been deeply hurt by blood relatives, or worse- never loved by them at all.
What about love between parents and their children? As a mother I would like to think that there is no greater love than this, yet I know that my children were not born to keep my love tank full for the rest of my life. I also know that it’s not possible for me to always keep theirs full.
What about our spouse? They promised to love us forever right- in sickness and health, good times and bad…yet everywhere we look marriages are failing and families being torn apart. Kids are left wondering why their parents don’t love each other anymore. Love has got to be so much more than any of this…right?
Love is life. Love is breath. Everything good flows from love! It’s not just something we hope to have or find someday, it is vital to our survival!
Babies who are not loved can develop severe emotional, mental and even physical conditions that can carry with them their entire lives. Kids who grow up doubting that their parents love them, or don’t even have parents, will carry that with them into their adult lives- often resulting in very shaky, unstable relationships with others. A lot of them become addicts- addicted to alcohol or drugs, pornography, sex, work, etc., all in the search of something that 1) either numbs the pain from lack of love or 2) seems to fill the aching for love for even a short time or 3) distracts them and keeps their minds and hearts off of the pain that is always there- they are constantly trying to run from it.
Than there are those of us who may have been loved by our parents, and had great childhoods, only to later fall deeply in love with another person. We give them our total love, heart and devotion- and are suddenly blindsided when they take the love we gave and betray us! It leaves us and our hearts left shattered in a million pieces! When that happens, we start questioning and doubting that love even truly exists at all! Then we start making agreements against love- agreements like, “I will never love again.” or “I will never allow anyone fully into my heart again.” or “I will never trust again.” or worse- “Love is not real. I don’t believe in love.”
What we thought was love, left us betrayed and alone, and feeling totally vulnerable. That is when we start to believe love does fail. All. The. Time.
So, forget for a moment what you believe love is, and lets take a look at what God says that it is. These are verses that many of us have heard so many times (usually at wedding ceremonies) that we don’t even think about the meaning of the words:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is:
- patient
- kind
- does not envy
- does not boast
- it is not proud
- it does not dishonor others
- is not self-seeking
- is not easily angered
- keeps no records of wrongs
- does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth
- it always protects
- it always trusts
- it always hopes
- it always perseveres
- Love never fails
WOW! I don’t know about you, but I’m sure I’ve never experienced love like this listed above…not from another human here on earth. As a matter of fact, most of the “love” that I have experienced, or what I thought was love, does not fit the above description at all! Can you imagine if it did? If every person we knew and loved actually loved us back with all of the points above?? Furthermore, can you imagine if WE could love others as listed above?? I know I never have- I’m sure I’ve hit some of them, and I strive to love like that…but in reality, I’m not even close!
I’ve been running my Facebook page ‘Love Never Fails’ now for going on four years, and so often I get people commenting things like: “Yes, love does fail.” or “Love has failed me over and over.” or “I will never trust or love again.” etc. I always feel so sad reading these comments because I know the feeling- I too have been led to believe that it was love that failed me! I want to cry with them! I want to hug them and try to explain to them that what they had that has cut them so deeply to make these soul convictions and agreements was never love to begin with!
I once came across this quote:
Yes! This is SO true! There is so much confusion about love in our world, what it even is, that in the meantime the truth about is getting buried- buried deep under disillusionment, hurt, betrayal and cynicism! People have started to close their hearts off completely to believing that love exist at all!
Right now if you get onto social media and put in the hashtag #loveislove (caution if you do), you will see that love is being tagged and labeled as anything and everything under the sun! Anything goes these days- any feeling, any sentiment, any whim…even any perversion, is being labeled and called love! It makes us further believe the lie that love is cheap and easy, that it’s just a feeling or attraction of some sort, and that once that fades, so does the love attached to it. It makes us hide even deeper in our fear that true love doesn’t exist, so why not just go with the flow because “love is love” right?
Woman are portrayed as sex objects everywhere we look, and men are being raised to believe that they not only are, but that they actually want to be treated as such!
Most young girls and young men have been brainwashed to believe that, and are convinced that it must be true. That that is what love is, and that they should ‘act’ accordingly if they want to find it. Sex is love, so have as much of it as possible, with as many people that are willing… then when they do (and quickly find it does NOT fill their emptiness but instead leaves them more empty and broken than ever before) they too start looking for other ways to try to fill the void- the void of where love was always intended to be. It’s a vicious, sad cycle that goes around and around.
So what is the missing link? Is love real? Does it even exist at all? Is it even worth looking for? What is the key to finding and knowing and keeping true love in our lives? I will go again to scripture to see what it says:
1 John 4:8: Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
OK, wait! If I believe the verse above, it’s telling me that God is love. He IS Love! Not just that He loves us, or knows how to love… or that we can learn what love is by trying to learn about Him…It clearly says that God. Is. Love!
It also says that whoever does not love, does not know God.
So as I’m pondering this verse, I’m thinking two things:
- If I look at the bulleted list above as a description of what love is, I know without a doubt that I have never been loved by another person like that. I also know without a doubt that I have never loved another person like that.
- If I have never loved another person like that, does it mean that I do not know God? Because I feel as though I have been getting to know God all my life. Of course I don’t think I have Him all figured out, or that I ever possibly could, my mind is finite after all.
So, I’m sitting here wondering if I really know God at all! I just scrolled up and reviewed the list again. The list of what love is… is also the list of who God is. Because God is love.
So God IS:
- patient
- kind
- He does not envy
- He does not boast
- He is not proud
- He does not dishonor others
- He is not self-seeking
- He is not easily angered
- He keeps no records of wrongs
- He does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth
- He always protects
- He always trusts
- He always hopes
- He always perseveres
- God never fails
It’s funny, because I’ve heard that a thousand times. And I’ve also read 1 Corinthians 13 many times (it’s one of my all time favorite scriptures).
So as I’m running down the list of love, my mind is thinking of only one person that fits that description: Jesus! HE is the only person that has been in my life, ever, that fits every single bullet point above! Of course…Jesus!
So does true love exist? Absolutely! His name is Jesus! Jesus is God. And God is Love!
John 10:30 I and the Father are one.
Matthew 1:23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).
My friend, I’m glad you are reading this. If you are heartbroken right now, if you are lonely, if you are hurting or suffering in any way and you do not believe in love anymore (or have never experienced it at all) believe me when I say this: Love IS real, and YOU can experience it!
We cannot look to another person to ever fulfill our hearts the only way that Jesus was meant to, because the truth is, we all need love to survive! Most of us are just looking for it in all the wrong places, and in the search, we are growing weary and frustrated, jaded and hardened.
We need to let others off the hook of trying to fill the place of love in our hearts and souls that was never theirs to fill. We need to let ourselves off the hook as well- stop trying to fill others!
So what do we do instead?
We look to Jesus! We look to Jesus to Love us! We look to Jesus to guide us! We look to Jesus to comfort us and heal our brokenness…and He will. He is the only One that can!
It takes time, and it doesn’t happen all at once, but when we surrender to His Divine plan and Divine Love, that is the only time we will start to feel the thirst for love being quenched.
John 4:13-14 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
John 10:10-11 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
You can spend your entire life in search for love- looking to others for it, only to be continuously disappointed, or you can spend your life getting to know Jesus- Jesus who is Love! The only one that can truly heal the human heart is the One who made it!
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
We cannot expect to love others the way God commands us to, without first knowing the One who IS love!
The more time we get to know Jesus (and trust Him with our hearts) the easier it becomes to trust others…the easier it becomes to forgive others….the easier it becomes to love others!
Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
We cannot love our neighbor (our spouse, our kids, our friends, our relatives) as ourself without first loving God. And we cannot know or love God, without Jesus.
Jesus is THE missing link! He is the link to true love because He is Love!
Give your heart to Him next time you are looking for love, and you will finally find the love you have been searching for your entire life- a love that will never run out or dry up!
1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
